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A couple was going out for the evening. They had gotten ready, all dolled-up, dog put out, etc.

A couple was going out for the evening. They had gotten ready, all dolled-up, dog put out, etc.
A couple was going out for the evening. They had gotten ready, all dolled-up, dog put out, etc. n The taxi arrives and as they start out, the dog jumps back into the house. They don't want the dog...

A couple was going out for the evening. They had gotten ready, all dolled-up, dog put out, etc.

The taxi arrives and as they start out, the dog jumps back into the house. They don’t want the dog shut in, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out.

The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver, “He’s just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother.”

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab.

“Sorry I took so long” he says. “Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her arse downstairs and tossed her out in the back yard. She better not shit in the vegetable garden again.”

The Jones didn't have any children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jones kissed his wife and said, "I'm off, honey. The man should be here soon."

The Jones didn't have any children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jones kissed his wife and said, "I'm off, honey. The man should be here soon."

A man passes out while swimming in a river.

A man passes out while swimming in a river.