A gambler gets a notice that he’s being audited by the IRS
The gambler calls his tax attorney and they go to see the IRS agent. At the office, the IRS agent looks over all the paper work and says, “The reason for this audit is because you have a very lavish lifestyle but very little income, can you tell me what you do for a living?”
The gambler replies, “I am a professional gambler.”
“A gambler?” The IRS agent asked with a puzzled look on his face.
“Yes,” says the gambler, “I make all of my money by betting. Would you like a demonstration?”
“Sure, let’s see it,” says the IRS agent.
The gambler proposes, “I bet you $1,000 that I can bite my eye.”
The IRS agent thinks about it for a second, then says, “Ok, you have a bet.”
The gambler pops his glass eye out and bites it. The IRS agent is shocked, but since he made the bet in front of the gambler’s attorney, he knows he can’t back out.
“Alright, alright, that wasn’t totally fair,” the gambler says, “I will give you a chance to win your money back. I bet you another $1,000 that I can bite my other eye.”
The IRS agent is a bit more cautious this time, so he looks over the man’s paperwork. He sees that the gambler is not legally blind, so he takes the bet. The gambler then takes his dentures out of his mouth and bites his other eye.
The IRS agent is now visibly distressed, clearly distraught from owing $2,000. The gambler makes one final offer: “Ok, double or nothing. I bet you I can stand on your desk, close my eyes, and piss into the trash can on the other side of the room without spilling a single drop.”
The IRS agent doesn’t see how that would be possible and takes the bet. The gambler gets up onto the agent’s desk, unzips his pants, closes his eyes, and pisses all over the agent’s desk.
“YES!!!” The IRS agent exclaimed, thrilled to not owe the gambler $2,000 dollars anymore.
“Shittttt,” the attorney groaned, putting his face into his hands in disappointment.
“What’s wrong?” The IRS agent asked.
“Before we came here, he bet me $20,000 that he would come to your office today, piss all over your desk, and you would be happy about it.”