A Scottish farmer is sitting on his front porch one day, resting after finishing his tasks with his dog at his feet.
A man in a suit approaches the farmer, greets him warmly, and the farmer greets him in turn. The man notices the dog lying at the farmer’s feet and smiles at the pooch.
“Can I talk to your dog?” The man asks. The farmer gives him an odd look but shrugs.
“Dog don’t talk, but whatever,” he replies.
“How are you doing, dog?” The man questions.
“Doing pretty good,” the dog answers to the utter shock of the farmer. “My master takes me on three walks a day, lets me run in the field, and feeds me every day. I have a good life here.” The man smiles. He then notices a horse who had trotted over to see what was going on.
“Can I talk to your horse?” The man asks again. The farmer is still skeptical.
“Horse don’t talk, but whatever,” the farmer answered again.
“How are you doing, horse?” The man queries.
“Doing really good!” The horse answers enthusiastically. The farmer’s jaw has gone slack. “My master feeds me every day and lets me from the stables at dawn and dusk to run and stretch my legs.” The man nods his head. He looks around and spots a sheep grazing nearby.
“Can I talk to your sheep?” The man asks.
“THAT SHEEP IS A FOOKIN’ LIAR!” The farmer shouts.