Boudreaux lived down by the river in deep Louisiana.
On the other side of the river lived a guy named Clarence.
Boudreaux hated Clarence and Clarence hated Boudreaux. Every day since they were small children, they’d go down to their river banks and yell at each other across the river. They never really met each other because neither one could swim and neither one had a boat. So for years and years, every day, they’d just cuss at each other across the river.
Boudreaux would scream things at Clarence like, “Imma gonna come ovuh they one day and whup yuh ass so hard yuh gonna hava sheet otta yuh nose!”
Clarence would scream back, “yah, you come on ovuh hey and try da whup muh ass and I gonna stomp yuh face intu da ground and make boodan otta yuh head!”
One day, news spread throughout the bayou that the county was going to build a bridge across the river. Boudreaux was extremely happy. In glee, he said to his wife, “Sha, Imma finally gonna get to go whup that Clarence’s ass!”
So, for months Boudreaux anxiously waited for the bridge to be completed until one day a neighbor came over and told Boudreaux that the bridge was done!
So he kissed his wife and said, “I’m gonna cross dat bridge and whup Clarence’s ass and be back by suppa!” and off he went.
Later that evening, Boudreaux came back to his house looking sad and dejected. His wife asked, “did you get to whup that Clarence’s ass?”
Boudreaux said, “Nah Sha, never saw him. I ran away ‘cause it turns out he’s ah big, big man. I mean a reeeally big, big man. If Ida gone ova they, he would have whupped me…probably even kilt me.”
Boureaux’s wife then asked, “How d’ya know he’s a big man if yuh never saw him?”
Boudreaux said, “Well, I got to da bridge and dey was a big sign that said ‘Clearance 12 Feet 6 Inches’!”