Curious George goes to a bar
A man and his monkey went into a bar,
On his shoulder was the monkey, he went not far.
Shooting pool all day long was what the man did,
The monkey watched as balls cross the table slid.
And then in a flash the small monkey ran down,
Then he picked up the cue ball and swallowed it down.
The bartender couldn’t believe his great fall,
No one would play pool if there wasn’t a ball.
“Your monkey must leave!” The bartender shouted.
But the man stayed calm while the bartender pouted.
“Don’t worry good man.” Was the player’s remark.
“I’ll get your ball back, and there won’t be a mark.”
The player then left while the bartender cried.
Surely the ball was gone ‘till the monkey died.
Sadly, he went and closed the bar for the night.
Tomorrow maybe, he’d find cocks for a fight.
But when the morning sun came, so did the man,
And with him he brought a shiny ball in his hand.
“Here is your ball, nice and clean.” He said proudly.
The bartender took, and looked at it fondly.
“My friend, I am saved!” He shouted gleefully.
Then he told the good player, “All your drinks are on me!”
The player sat down at the freshly cleaned bar,
The monkey watched peanuts in a small jar.
Then, in the blink of an eye, the monkey did rush
Down the man’s arm, to the jar, his hand he did thrust.
Then removing a peanut, he looked at it closely,
Thrust it up his butt, pulled it out, and ate, mostly.
The bartender, frightened by what he had seen,
Looked at the monkey and thought it a dream.
Then the monkey returned to his perch up above.
The bartender stared, he’d not even used a glove!
Then in a flash, our brave monkey did fly,
Back down the man’s arm to where the peanuts did lie.
Then repeating the process of peanut and butt,
The monkey was content to dine on the nut.
This time the bartender could stand it no longer,
What was wrong with this dirty little monger?
Finally, he worked up the courage to ask,
“Why is that monkey of your so damn crass?”
The pool shark just looked at his monkey and smiled,
He said, “I’m sorry, did that get you all riled?”
The bartender smiled, knowing that was the worst.
“Well, after that cue ball, he checks everything first.”
This is a really old joke (I have seen variations of it on here before) that I put to verse for a creative writing class in college two decades ago. I found it while going through papers and thought some of you enjoy the poetry format.