Don't step on a duck
St. Peter is assisting applicants to heaven three at a time. He’s leading the latest trio around, showing them the best clouds, where to get the best harps, best wing cleaning service etc.
One guy has a complaint, though. “What’s with all these ducks? They’re everywhere and getting underfoot!”
St. Peter looks alarmed, and says “You must NEVER step on a duck! Those are God’s favorite! If you step on a duck, you’ll be punished for all eternity!”
The three are left to their own devices, but inevitably one of them steps on a duck. After much quacking ensued, St. Peter sternly marches up and handcuffs the offender to the ugliest woman the three have ever seen. “You were warned! Now you’re attached to her for all eternity!”
The other two are now much more careful about trying to avoid stepping on ducks, but as luck would have it, one of them manages to do so, to the same scenario with an even uglier woman.
The remaining man is so careful he can hardly move, but manages to go for several years without stepping on a duck.
In spite of this, he sees St. Peter sternly approaching him with a woman and a pair of handcuffs. But the woman isn’t ugly, she’s drop-dead gorgeous!
“I wonder what I did to deserve this?” mused the man.
The woman replies “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!”