Embarrassing Fart Story
Here’s one that a lot of y’all can probably relate to. I’m probably gonna add more to it at some point.
One day in third grade we were all sitting on the carpet listening to our teacher read something. My stomach hadn’t been too kind to me that day. …….
You know that feeling when you can tell an abnormally massive fart is making its way downward, and you’re doing everything in your power to stop it? Well let’s just say the flood gates didn’t close in time on this particular day.
What is hands down the longest, loudest, most disgusting passage of methane gas I’ve ever generated occurred less than 5 feet from my teacher and in front of all my classmates. I mean this thing had to have lasted a solid 10-12 seconds. This thing was probably on par with a Yellowstone Supervolcano eruption. It was like irritable bowel syndrome on steroids.
After the damage to our atmosphere had been done, the class went dead silent. I remember looking at my classmates behind me to pretend that it wasn’t me who’d broken the sound barrier that day. Somehow, the teacher didn’t realize it was me.