Pinocchio goes over to Gipetto’s place one afternoon.
“Hey, dad. I’m having a problem.”
“What’s the problem, son?”
“My girlfriend complains that every time we have sex she gets splinters in her va-jay-jay.”
“Simple solution, my son. Take this sandpaper home and rub it on your lil’ stump. That’ll take care of everything.”
So a few weeks go by and Gipetto hasn’t heard from Pinocchio. He decides to go ‘round to Pinocchio’s house to check on him.
“Hey, Pinocchio. How’d everything work out with your girlfriend?”
“Girlfriend?” replied Pinocchio. “Who needs a girlfriend?”