In the ancient village of Gennemill, there lived the Trids…
The Trids were a happy folk, mostly due to their vast riches. They weren’t known for being warriors, or for being artists, or for their architecture, but simply because they had the most gold, an entire mountain of it infact. But one day the powerful dragon, Sorial, swooped down on Gennemill and overtook the mountain. With Sorial sitting atop all of the gold, the Trids were unable to access their riches.
The Trids tried everything: catapults, to hurt the dragon – didn’t work. Digging through the bottom of the mountain, they weren’t strong enough. Peaceful conversations? No go. They realized this dragon would not go down without a fight.
For 15 years, the Trids trained every child born to be great warriors, similar to that of Sparta. Many died trying to become great warriors leaving only the strongest and bravest Trids for the army. Finally, they were confident, that one of these warriors could slay the Dragon.
They first sent the fifth best warrior – Marcedius. So Marcedius climbed the mountain, camping for 3 nights before making it to the top. He finally reached the dragon, tired and sore and he brandished his sword. Sorial took one look, stood up and kicked Marcedius down the mountain to his death.
The 4th best warrior, Bolognaius, climbed the mountain in two nights. He reached the dragon with more energy than Marcedius, confident he could win. He brandished his hammer and took a mighty seong, bopping the dragon on his big toe. Unphased, Sorial kicked Bolognauis down the mountain to his death.
The third best warrior, was know for his archery. His name was Legotrid. He climbed to his firing point in one night, significantly further from Sorial. He shot an arrow into the mountain heights above and heard a loud screech. Confident his arrow struck Sorial dead, he climbed the mountain to regain control of the gold. The fool to his surprise, came to an angry and fully awake Dragon, who promptly kicked him down the mountain to his demise.
The 2nd best warrior, was the largest of all Trids. His name was Gigante McSmante Stringer Bell. He climbed the mountain in only 10 hours, swiftly and calculated being sure to be extra quiet. He snuck up behind the dragon, whom was asleep, and climbed to the top of his head. He pulled out a slim dagger and raised his hands to the sky. Sorial then farted himself awake, knocking Gigante McSmante Stringer Bell to the ground at his feet. Realizing the threat, dragon kicked the trid down the mountain and all the way to West Baltimore.
The Trids best warrior, was no warrior, but the calm and wise great Rabbi. The Trids were very religious, and their Rabbi was no easy fight. With his wisdom he was able to best even the greatest minds, once beating Bobby Fischer in a game of chess blindfolded. So the Rabbi climbed the mountain, in one week, conserving his energy for this mental bout with Sorial. He finally made it atop the mountain, no dragon in sight. He waltzed into the mountain packed up the gold and brought it down the mountain day after day until it was all gone.
Very confused, he returned to the top of the mountain seeking out the Dragon. He found Sorial, perched at the top completely unwilling to fight. He asked the Dragon, “Sorial, why didn’t you kick me down the mountain?” And Sorial, whom first belched a flaming burp, said calmly to him “Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids.”