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King Arthur was preparing to go out on an expedition and would be away from Camelot for an indefinite period of time. He was worried about leaving Queen Guinevere alone with all those horny knights of the Round Table, so he went to Merlin for some advice…

King Arthur was preparing to go out on an expedition and would be away from Camelot for an indefinite period of time. He was worried about leaving Queen Guinevere alone with all those horny knights of the Round Table, so he went to Merlin for some advice…
King Arthur was preparing to go out on an expedition and would be away from Camelot for an indefinite period of time. He was worried about leaving Queen Guinevere alone with all those horny knights of...

King Arthur was preparing to go out on an expedition and would be away from Camelot for an indefinite period of time. He was worried about leaving Queen Guinevere alone with all those horny knights of the Round Table, so he went to Merlin for some advice…

The good wizard showed him his latest invention.

It was a chastity belt…except that it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place.

“This is no good, Merlin!” the king exclaimed. “Look at this opening! How is this supposed to protect m’lady, the Queen!?”

“Ah, sire, just observe.” said Merlin.

He then selected his most worn-out wand and inserted it in the gaping hole of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came out and cut the stick neatly in two.

“Merlin, you are a genius!” said King Arthur.

After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur set out upon his Quest.

Several years passed before he returned to Camelot.

Upon arrival, he immediately assembled all his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for a ‘little’ inspection.

Sure enough, each of them had an amputated little Johnny or was damaged in some way.

All except Sir Galahad.

“Sir Galahad!” exclaimed King Arthur. “The one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours!”

But Sir Galahad…

…was speechless..

On the lowest branch of a tree, there is a caterpillar looking at a bud. Hungrily, it says: "I'll be damned if don't eat this bud. But I'll wait until it has bloomed so that I can go and fill my belly !!" and then it waits patiently for the bud to bloom.

On the lowest branch of a tree, there is a caterpillar looking at a bud. Hungrily, it says: "I'll be damned if don't eat this bud. But I'll wait until it has bloomed so that I can go and fill my belly !!" and then it waits patiently for the bud to bloom.

A priest is sitting inside the church, when a guy comes in and asks to be confessed.

A priest is sitting inside the church, when a guy comes in and asks to be confessed.