The Old Man with the IRS
The Man and the IRS
So an older gentleman received a phone call by the IRS, being notified about large sums of money going in and out of his account. He was told to be at the office first thing Monday morning. He thought to himself “Well if this is what I think it is, I better lawyer up.”
Sure enough he got a lawyer and was there Monday morning. The guy from the IRS went through the details and asked if the gentleman was aware of the transactions. Here’s the conversation. Gentleman: “Yeah I do a little gambling here and there.” IRS: “With this big of an amount of money?” Gentleman: “Sure. Here I’ll make you a bet. I bet you $5,000 that I can bite my own eye.”
With that being said, the guy from the IRS took the bet knowing he couldn’t do it. The gentleman then pulled out his glass eye, and bit it.
Gentleman: “Now don’t worry, I’m gonna give you a chance to make your money back, and even a little more. I’ll bet you $10,000 that I can bite my other eye.”
The guy from the IRS saw no seeing eye dog, and saw no stick for the blind, so he knew for sure this was a sure win.
IRS: “You’ve got yourself a deal”
The gentleman then takes his dentures out and bites his other eye.
Gentleman: “Now now don’t be upset. I’m gonna give you a chance to make your money back, and even a little more. I’ll bet you $20,000 that from the other side of your desk, I can go to the bathroom and make all of my urine end up in your trash can, not a drop anywhere else.”
The IRS guy knew for sure that he couldn’t do that. So he took this bet knowing he’d made $20,000.
IRS: “You’re on old man! There’s no chance in hell you can do that!”
The gentleman then proceeds to urinate all over the IRS guys desk. As he jumps up and down in joy because he won the bet.
IRS: “You lose! You owe me $20,000!!!”
While celebrating, the IRS guy couldn’t help but notice gentleman’s lawyer, who was sitting there shaking his head in shame.
IRS: “What’s your problem?”
Lawyer: “He bet me $100,000 on the way here that he could piss all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it.”